Saying "no" at work

For trust and safety

Saying "No"

Your yes means nothing if you can't say no
— Meshell Ndegeocello

Saying "No"

When I visit your team I am comfortable making suggestions
because you have said "can we circle back to that" to suggestions
that I have made
— Sharon

Saying "No"

From the ACC2 Features Team working agreement

Kind & honest debate is encouraged.

  • Kind without honest is manipulative
  • honest without kind is cruel
Saying "No"

From the ACC2 Features Team working agreement

Kind & honest debate is encouraged.

  • It's safe to say crazy things because our teammates will let us know if we're saying crazy things.
  • We look out for each other by giving good feedback.
  • Keep each other safe by giving timely feedback
Saying "No"

Examples of saying no at work

Saying "No"

In The Mob

Code Navigation

To say "no" when someone is giving you too low level navigation

Could I get some higher level navigation please?

Saying "No"

In The Mob

Advice

To say "no" when someone is about to give you an answer when you want to explore

Do you mind if I struggle with this a bit before you give the answer?

Saying "No"

In The Mob

Schedule

To say "no" when someone suggests skipping a break

I'd like to take a break. Do you want to break together, or shall we do rolling breaks?

Saying "No"

With our Product Owner

New Work

To say "no" when our PO asks that we start something new

We haven't finished [work in progress] yet; We're going to finish that first

Saying "No"

With our Product Owner

New Work

To say "no" when our PO asks that we start something new

We're not satisfied with the quality/test coverage for [thing we've just done], we're going to wrap that up first

Saying "No"

With our Product Owner

Scope

To say "no" to building a very large batch of functionality at once. "We can't release unless we have A, B, and C."

Even if it's not suitable to release, we're going to finish A first and go from there

Saying "No"

With Chris

Direct Instructions (very rare 😉)

To say "no" to a direct instruction

I think if we do that, we'll have the following consequence. Do you have advice to avoid the consequence? Or is that consequence acceptable?

Saying "No"

With Chris

Experimentation Ideas

To say "no" to an idea of something new to try

We'd like to use our existing process/tools this time around

Saying "No"

With Chris

Experimentation Ideas

To say "no" to an idea of something new to try

We have more inventory than we're comfortable with, and we want to ship that before we do something experimental

Saying "No"

Recap

Saying "no"...

  • makes others trust your "yes" more
  • makes others more comfortable suggesting/asking
Saying "No"

Challenge

Pay attention to times you want to say "no" but you think you ought to say "yes"

  • if it feels safe to say "no"
    • giv'r
  • if it doesn't feel safe to say "no"
    • that's a great thing to retro as a team
Saying "No"

Comfort with saying "no" is a safety concern.

Let's make it safe and normal to politely decline!

Saying "No"